Thankful...

that I'm not this asshole. I don't disagree that Americans are way too fat and let's face it, mostly because we eat too much of the wrong things while sitting in front of our televisions. But I didn't realize that we had elevated belittling others to a level where we proudly boast about doing so in newspaper opinion pieces. Here I am belittling people behind their backs (the way civilized people are supposed to, I thought) and feeling somewhat ashamed about it and then this guy tells me it's my moral obligation to publicly disparage others for their own good.

I guess what pisses me off most about this guy is his assumption that every fat person is exactly the same: greedily shoving others away from the buffet table while we belly up shoveling food into our little pieholes by the fistfuls. I've yet to actually witness that behavior out of even the most obese citizen. But I'm going to go out on a limb here and add that genetics plays some role in obesity. It's not the end of the story, by any means, and if you work hard enough, you can outsmart your genetics up to a certain point. But I know that I make better food choices than my husband, eat smaller portions than my husband and actually exercise. His exercise is shuffling to the fridge for another beer. I don't drink, by the way, because it tends to make me bloat. He never bloats. Ever. He misses one meal and he loses five pounds. I don't eat for a week because of a stomach virus or grief or whatever, I might lose a pound, but the first time I eat a meal again, back on it goes. And I swear I gain weight every time I drive past the Krispy Kreme store. It's on the freeway; sometimes I HAVE to drive that way, dammit! My son has a friend whose mother is very vigilant about feeding them good, healthy foods which they actually eat. Now unless she's a total fake (which I don't think so, that's why she's still my friend) and letting the kids mainline M&Ms while they are sleeping, she's feeding those kids a much healthier diet than my kid gets. Yet one of her kids (only one, not the other) is pushing the density envelope while my kid is still blissfully average in size. Here's hoping he got daddy's metabolism in addition to daddy's laid back mental state.

What I'm saying is that some bodies are genetically predisposed to thinness and some.....aren't. I have been thin and in shape and literally able to stop traffic with my body; but I wasn't happy and I'm sure I wasn't much fun to be around. When your entire life revolves around what is or isn't going into your mouth, the numbers on the scale or how tight or loose your clothes feel, well, you are pretty fucking boring. Not to mention highly neurotic. I have to work five times harder than someone like my husband to lose weight and frankly, at this point in my life, I'm just not interested anymore. I have better things to do, like watch television. Have you SEEN Nip/Tuck this season???

Anyway, striking a blow for fat people everywhere, here is my response to the above referenced asshole. You can thank me by not boring others with carb counting and workout schedules and not openly mocking people who don't look like supermodels. And today, just eat the fucking food without worrying about it, ok?