Crafty or crazy?

So I'm watching The View (a guilty pleasure) and they have this "crafty mom" who does a segment on cooking for/with kids. But she makes all the foods into toys or faces, like apple slices with marshmallow teeth. Every friggin' thing is just so cute and cuddly. Am I the only one that feels like she's bordering on cannibalism here? Then she mentions something about how all this crafty cooking shit makes kids "self-sufficient" and flash forward twenty years to this geek named Skippy who's cooking for his girlfriend and serves her up food with cute little faces and carrot ears. Skippy ain't getting laid anytime soon.

And a segment on GMA (really, I'm on auto-pilot at this time of the morning) and they are talking to twenty-something girls (sorry but none qualified as "woman") who feel all this pressure when they read about other girls their age that have achieved so much and are making so much money and how they feel inadequate. Ok, you want inadequate? Watch one of those specials about some 12-year old who raised a million bucks for Afghan refugees while your biggest accomplishment to date (as a 43-year old) is getting out of bed and getting dressed. Now THAT's inadequacy. On the other hand, that 12-year old has nowhere to go but down. Me on the other hand, could still peak. If I could only get out of bed. And no, I'm not depressed. Bed is the sane option when faced with another day. There is no war in bed, no one to piss you off, no one to ask you questions that really aren't any of their business and then you have the endless internal debate on whether to slap them down politely (which means they'll be back) or to slap them down permanently (which means they'll never speak to you again and their kid will be shitty to your kid until one of you moves away). Sigh. So many questions. Frankly, it's a sign of mental illness to bound OUT of bed every morning. The only thing luring me out is coffee and the urgent need to pee...