Teenage Wasteland

Seems like an odd title for someone staring 43 in the face. And yet as "Baba O'Reilly" blasts through the speakers it's like I'm 13 all over again, under the covers covertly listening to WDIZ out of Orlando dreaming of bigger and better things than this rural trailer park and the tiny little life I'm stuck in. Parents drinking and fighting, fucking telling me what to do. That's the amazing power of music; it's like a time machine at your fingertips. Just plug in the tune and there you are all over again at whatever age and stage of misery or joy you were at when that particular song got embedded in your brain. I'm finding a lot of comfort these days listening to my "oldies". My "oldies" consisting not only of The Who and The Stones, but Circle Jerks, Dead Kennedys, Black Flag, Fear, Stiff Little Fingers (gotta love SLF) - all of the great punk bands of the 80s. Although I admit to being painfully startled when I dusted off the Circle Jerk's "Live Fast, Die Young" and realized I had aged past two chorus' of the friggin' song. But hey, better that than actually dead I guess. The other weird thing is that the world has turned on it's edge again and all the shit these bands screamed about back in the day are happening all over again. Just different countries, different names, but the shit is all the same. Power mongers, corporate greed, manufactured wars, scary fuckin' presidents. Fuck, it's like 1981 all over again.

No point to this I guess except some sort of inarticulate ode to the power of music and its continuing role in my life. It seems like most people my age have kind of left music behind or graduated to "grown-up" music. We were at dinner at someone's house and I swear the hostess put on friggin' smooth jazz lite or something - completely took my appetite away. (note to self: investigate smooth lite jazz as diet aid). But I'm thinking, is this really what my people listen to now? I mean, I know I'm old and shit, but I still drive around with the music blasting so loud the side mirrors shake and I'm screaming along to the music. Just like when I was 12, 15, 17, 21, 35 etc. I hope I NEVER get too old (or deaf) for that.

No eulogies at my funeral, please. Just turn that shit up loud, especially "Gotta Get Away", by SLF. What a send-off...

Dear Britney:

I know you're "country", but Victoria's Secret has been making underwear for a VERY long time. Please buy some. Or if you do choose to go commando, just:

A. Wear a longer skirt, or
B. Learn how to keep your legs closed.

I vote for B as the best choice for mankind in general. There are too many mini-K-Feds running around as it is.

Sincerely,

The World